A Soft Paw
[At home, in the church.]
My grandfather died today. The first person, who meant something to me in my adult frame of mind, died today.
When Julie and I went to see him a few weeks ago, I had two things that I wanted to happen in case something like this happened before I could see him again. Luckily, I was able to do both with him.
First, Julie and I wanted him as our minister for the wedding ceremony. Since there was doubt that he may not make it to our wedding (much less, marry us) we wanted him to say a blessing over us. The day we left him and Arkansas we had him do that. It meant more to both of us than he probably knew at the time, in light of his condition.
Secondly, I had a story come to me that explained my grandfather so accurately. As I scripted it in my head, I kept thinking how it sounded like something spoken as an eulogy. I’ve always pictured myself in the coffin, at my open funeral, wondering how people would act and what they would say if I were dead. I think we all deserve to hear how much we’re loved and how we’re viewed before we die, so I found a time to share it with him before we left Arkansas. This is what I told my grandfather.
“You’ve always had a quiet sense of leadership about you. Your brushed back hair, like a lion’s mane- your rule of a soft paw. No one ever knew they were in your kingdom when they were around you- your knowledge and power, unassuming. Their safety & comfort came from those unknowns. The first to laugh, the last to cry- your strength came from your strong will & happiness. You never once had to roar or extract your claws… except on occasion to silence your lioness (he laughed at this). The cubs you raised, you saw through to men. Your legend, while always perfecting, will not die with you. We slumber in the shadow of you and raise our own under the same sun you did.
I love you.“
I kissed him on the forehead and left the room.
Filed under: Me, My Writings, People | 11 Comments
Tags: death, eulogy, grandfather, grandfathers, grandpa, grandparents, grandpas, life, Me, my life, People
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I know what you said touched him…
‘m sorry about your grandfather.
I’m glad you made those two things happen!
*big hugs*
<3
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your words are beautiful and meaningful.
It hit me worse today than it did yesterday. Thank you for the support.
Love you girls.
I know… it seems to hit me in waves. One minute I am strong, the next, tears are flowing nonstop. He was a great man. I hate it that my girls will not know him the way we knew him.
I started to cry when “Amazing Grace” by Ani Difranco played on my way to work. I ended up coming home early. I can’t work today. I didn’t wear a hat to work today either, out of respect. A minor detail, but something that was consciously done for him.
I posted a clip (the ending) of Big Fish. If you’ve never seen it, rent it tonight. The whole story is grandpa.
This sucks. He was a sweet guy and I know that this loss will be hard for you all to adjust to. My thoughts are with you.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather, but I am so proud you told him exactly what he means to you beforehand.
My grandmother died on June 19th. I gave her eulogy, and while that gave me a great sense of peace, I am still having difficulty sleeping at night because images of her keep me awake. She was immeasurable.
*hug*
condolences.
and, that was lovely.
Thanks love. Listen to the audio if you have a chance.