aa, iv

23Mar09

I went to my fourth meeting Sunday night. On the way there I told the friend that I go with, “It’s been a week now and I’ve missed a total of 3 days. Missing one day, I’m fine. Two days in a row though, feels like too long. Not that I start craving a drink or anything, I just look forward to going now.” He laughed and agreed.

I ended up sharing about my wreck from January 2006.

My name is Wade, I’m an alcoholic & addict. (In unison, “Hi Wade.”) I have blood stains on my pants from a wreck, three years ago. I was down in Florida, on my way to a friend’s house, when I rolled my SUV. I walked out my windshield and waited for the cops. I was never charged with anything, never hurt anyone- only myself and not enough to go to a hospital. However, possibly killing myself wasn’t enough. It wouldn’t be until three years later, when I was faced with losing those who I love, and possibly endangering their lives, that it finally clicked for me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we all have different motivations. For me, my life wasn’t one, it was losing those that I love. So whatever it is, find your motivation and focus on it.

That’s all I have to say.

Pictures from my wreck.

The quotes that stuck with me from Sunday night’s meeting, are as follows…

“Don’t let your highs get too high, or your lows too low.”

“With alcohol, I could be at a party, drinking with a house full of people and feel completely alone. Without alcohol, I can be at home, by myself, and not feel alone at all.”

“When I was drunk, I’d apologize, but it didn’t mean anything. Sober, I can say I’m sorry and actually remember what I’m sorry for.”

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